Introduction.
We all have opinions and beliefs, however did you know that those beliefs directly affect your behaviour, how you respond to people and events, and ultimately dictate what you experience in life?
Most of our behaviours are unconscious, so it’s vitally important that we take the time to reflect on our views and decide if our opinions and attitudes are helping us, or becoming a problem.
Especially in a fast-changing world, we need to focus on being self-aware and remain resilient and agile.
In this article we will introduce the concept of ‘cognitive dissonance’ as it applies to how we form new beliefs and behaviours, and how new ideas can cause us to become resistant. This is particularly important when coaching or counselling people…and you never know, you might learn something about yourself too!
We will briefly explore how and why we form beliefs and automate our behaviour and how you can have more control so you can begin to challenge and remove attitudes and behaviours that no longer positively serve you (or assist other people in broadening their own view of the world).
We are not as rational as we think
Would you believe that up to 95% of our behaviours and actions are unconscious?
Now we like to think that we are logical and in control…that we approach a situation, review the relevant data with an open mind, and then make a rational decision.However, that’s simply not the case.
Think about sales, personal development, process improvement, and coaching. These are all situations where you are attempting to change someone’s opinions and behaviours (or quite possibly your own). And it is not always easy.
So, if those behaviors and decisions aren’t based purely on evidence, then what you have left is habit, and as we know…habits can be hard to break.
Automating our behaviours is essential. Without doing it, we couldn’t function. However, a problem occurs when our beliefs influence our behaviour in ways that prevent us from evolving, being adaptable, or if they start to impact our performance and relationships.
Different models exist to explain how and why this happens, ranging from “working memory” through to something called “Miller’s magic number 7” where it is proposed that you can only hold a small amount of information at any given time in conscious memory.
To free up the mind to identify risks, changes, and new information – we automate many of our thoughts and behaviours and form habits.
This is where a process called GDD comes into it.
How we process information
We Generalise, Delete, and Distort information coming in.
Generalise
What has proved true in the past, will prove true in the future.
For example, a small child learns that things have 'handles' which enable them to be held, moved, opened and manipulated in some way.
A cup has a handle; a door has a handle; a key can be thought of as a handle; a bag has a handle; a knife and fork are handles which give you a tool to cut and hold. A tap is a handle to open and close water flow; an 'on/off' switch is a handle; and so on.
Similarly having one bad experience with a member of one religion does not mean that all the people who share that religion are the same.
In one context it may not be okay to use certain types of words but that does not necessarily mean that it is not okay in other contexts, yet when people create these types of generalisations it may limit rather than enhance their lives.
You get the idea.
Delete
What you leave out. Think of it as process of selective attention.
Whether this is a conscious decision or an unconscious process it is clearly impossible to pay attention to the mass of information that impacts your senses.
At some level of awareness you have to choose what to pay attention to. By choosing to focus in on some aspect of your sensory experience you naturally have to delete other information,
To hear someone in a crowded room you may have to concentrate in on the speaker and not listen to other conversations.
Driving a car in heavy traffic you may need to focus on the road ahead to the detriment of the scenery that passes you by.
In a garden you may choose to enjoy the fragrance of a rose yet ignore other sights, sounds, sensations and smells.
At times deletion may be useful yet in other contexts it may result in an impoverished experience. For example, if you delete the nice things that people say to you and do for you, and instead focus on what they did not do or say then you may feel unloved.
Distort
Finally, we can distort the information that comes in to fill in the blanks or twist information to support our existing beliefs. Distortion is the process of bringing in information through your senses and then playing with that information in your mind to create new concepts, ideas and understandings.
Different ways of thinking about the world, philosophy, spirituality, religion, ideology, fantasising, creating new inventions, writing fiction and producing films all rely upon the ability to distort so called reality.
The ability to play with thoughts in your mind allows you to build goals of the future - a future that causes you pain or pleasure.
The question we really need to ask ourselves is – does what we generalise, delete, and distort help us – or hinder us?
You get what you focus on.
A simple metaphor you can use to understand this process is likening it to the internet. Online, there are billions and billions of bits of information. You cannot process all of it, so we use search engines to order and provide data that is relevant to our search. And the information you receive will be based on your perspective and focus.
This is what happens within our brains. There is so much sensory information out there that we need to sort through it and focus on what we tell ourselves is important. We group similar types of information together (generalise), we ignore information that we deem irrelevant or contradictory (delete) and we interpret and alter information based on our understanding of the world (distort).
This process is normal and essential. We simply couldn’t function if we attempted to consciously sort through ALL of the information out there. The problem is, often we only become consciously aware of information that supports what we want to think and that doesn’t make it right, fair, or useful. In fact, those beliefs may have been useful in the past, however they may now be preventing you from adapting to changing environments, understanding different people, or maintain positive results in your life and business.
So many examples…so little time.
Self isolation during covid-19.
Convincing someone to quit smoking.
If you cut out carbs (or go on any “restrictive” diet).
Encouraging someone to exercise
The vegan versus omnivore debate
Political opinion (whether its about an individual or platform).
The list is endless. Pick a topic and someone will have an opinion. Ask 10 people and you’ll possibly get 10 opinions. And which one is right? None of them. And all of them. Depending on who you ask.
There is data out there to support any belief you want to hold. And that’s ok. Unless those beliefs are not working for you anymore.
An example I like to use to understand how standards and opinions change…is when people I chat to say “we’re all too sensitive…back in my day we could make a joke and women wouldn’t get all upset. It’s all too politically correct”. Or similar comments about sexuality. Gender. Equality. Race. And I always like to ask “Is it really too politically correct? Did people really not mind? Or did the culture just not consider how the individuals felt?”
Perhaps it is just that more people have asked questions and changed their assumptions about bullying and harassment - and those people that haven’t remained mentally agile are feeling a little lost. Because their outdated beliefs, while they worked for them in the past, are now not appropriate.
The world changes and holding on to outdated beliefs isn’t useful. Whether it is social, technological, business, or personal.
Some people form beliefs with minimum evidence. Something they read…or something they experience once. It can be hard to change someone's mind (or your own) just by presenting data or an opinion. Ever tried convincing someone to quit smoking, change political parties, or alter their lifestyle and diet simply based on data? It can happen; however it is a challenge!
It also matters WHERE the data comes from – if it is coming from someone you don’t like (or an opposition party) then you may instantly disregard it. If it is from a certain publication or group, then you might believe it unconditionally. Again, that is ok…except if it’s holding you or your business back or is having a negative impact on your success or relationships.
Information categories.
So we basically receive three categories of information.
There is information we receive which has what is called a ‘Consonant relationship’ with our own beliefs. In other words, two concepts that are consistent with one another. For example.
I want to avoid catching or spreading covid-19 / and I am being asked to stay home.
I want to get physically fit / I am given information on different exercise options
Next, sometimes the information has a totally ‘Irrelevant relationship’ with our own beliefs. In other words, two concepts that are unrelated to one another.
I want to avoid catching or spreading covid-19 / it is fashion week in Paris.
I want to get physically fit / here is a video on cats being funny. And while cat videos are always funny, they are not really relevant to covid-19.
Finally, the information we receive can have a ‘Dissonant relationship’ with out own beliefs. In other words, two concepts that are inconsistent with one another. For example.
I want to avoid catching or spreading covid-19 / I do not want to have to self-isolate.
I want to get physically fit / I do not like cardio.
The goal is to minimize the level of dissonance between the two elements because when we receive information which has a ‘dissonant relationship’ with our own beliefs, we will treat that information in one of 4 ways.
Coping with cognitive dissonance.
Let’s use the Covid-19 situation as an example since that is topical at the moment. So, you’re asked to self isolate for a few weeks or months.
Firstly, you may simply change your behavior or belief.
This new information makes sense and allows me to meet my goal. I’ll do it! It doesn’t happen often, however it can happen! In the case of Covid-19, you want to avoid catching or spreading the virus so you agree to stay home. Yay!
Secondly, you may justify your behavior or opinion by changing the conflicting idea.
For example - I don’t want to stay home…however…we could minimize risk by just isolating elderly people…or wearing masks….or [insert a new idea you like here!]
Next, you may justify your behavior or opinion by adding new elements to the equation.
“I can’t stay home because…It’s not just about the spread of the virus…It’s about the economy…AND my mental health…AND or our personal freedoms!...”
Finally, some people will simply Ignore or deny any information that conflicts with existing beliefs
“Self isolation? That’s stupid. It’s a conspiracy anyway. I am in just as much risk out shopping so surely I can go out any other time. In fact, I went out last week and I didn’t get sick.”
And these 4 responses can relate to any number of topics that challenge our opinions and points of view.
New processes, new policies, leadership styles, health and wellbeing, politics, brand preference, social behaviours. The list goes on.
Managing change effectively.
It’s worth being aware that If you try to force the change, or challenge the person, you end up causing resistance and making them defensive – which results in them finding evidence to stay where they are….and the more evidence they have, the harder it is to bring them closer to a new way of thinking.So take the time to really explore their point of view, and help them to understand how considering another point of view could be beneficial for them
How can you help someone (or yourself) to better understand beliefs and behaviours? Here are a few questions you can reflect on.
Where did your belief come from? Often our beliefs are inherited from parents, partners, teachers, and friends. Think of any topic and belief you have. Are you sure it’s your belief?
What evidence do you have so that you know your belief is true? In finding evidence, you may find that you are holding on to a belief that is no longer true. Maybe it’s an inherited belief and there is no evidence. And if that’s the case, how does the belief alter your behaviour? Try to come up with specific examples to support your belief.
How would you know if your belief (or someone else's) wasn’t true? This can help you examine your belief from another perspective. Trying to disprove a belief forces you to examine data you would usually ignore.
What would have to happen to change your belief? If you would change your belief, then perhaps it is worth considering why you have it in the first place. Does that criteria to change exist now? And if so, is there value in changing your belief?
How many times do you need to experience something to know it’s true? Do you read an article online and take it as fact? Do you have one experience and apply it to an entire group? For example, have you ever had a bad experience with one person at a company, and decided that everyone at that company is rude?
f you were wrong, how would it impact you? This is a great question to explore. We need beliefs and opinions. However ask yourself (hypothetically if that helps), when faced with something you are resisting or arguing – what would happen if you were wrong? If you believe chocolate ice-cream is better than vanilla then never challenging that belief probably won’t ruin your life (although there is some amazing vanilla out there – when is the last time you tried it?!) however holding on to beliefs about races, ages, businesses, processes, people, or countries could keep you from amazing and enriching experiences.
Make a ‘Bryter’ business decision…
Use this information to better understand yourself and others around you. Respect how different people see the world and challenge yourself to see if you are holding on to outdated beliefs or patterns of behaviour.
This is part of a much larger program we offer called “leet speak” and “evidence based leadership” so for more information on that, feel free to reach out via our website (details below).
To discuss further training needs around this or any other topic, feel free to reach out any time. At Bryter Training, we specialise in both live and remote training for businesses, with a focus on leadership, psychology, communications, and organisational development. For more information on us, our services, or to discuss your needs, please contact us through our website.
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